S1 E7 - Fast Forward: The Road Gets Weirder

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Judy, we've been talking about stories from the middle of nowhere. This is our first fast forward podcast where we're gonna bring people up to date. We've talked about it. Mom and dad are still alive. Mom's 90, dad's 86. The stories weren't limited just to when we were growing up in North Dakota. They continue. We've got crazy stories from the current stories. We could call this stories not from the middle of nowhere, but stories from now.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Some of those other things are also nowhere places. You know, it's funny, nowhere doesn't have to be North Dakota. Because some of the nowhere was in Lake Havasu City, Arizona. Some of the nowhere was in Pueblo, Colorado, but a whole lot of it was in Minut, North Dakota.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

The constant with all of it is mom and dad and us, and the weird stories continue. And you just touched on it, the folks at one point moved to Lake Havasu City, Arizona. Not sure why they would move there. We'll talk about that at some point in the future, but they decide they're going to move to Arizona. Later, our aunt, Aunt Vivian, follows them to Arizona. This is later in life, and she's getting up there. At that time, I think they everybody had lived in Bismarck. We're up here in Colorado, and I think at that point you guys were still in Colorado as well, before you guys had moved to Florida. Vivian's down in Arizona living with the folks. We'd went down and visited with them a couple of times. Vivian had her own house. Mama dad had a house, etc. Well, anyway, Vivian's health sadly starts to fail. And we're going down that road. And we know what's going to happen. Well, we get the call one day that Vivian had passed away. And super sad. We we've talked about it on our podcast. We haven't had a lot of tragedy, Judy, in our family. No, yeah. Like very little. Death is not common with us. So when Vivian died, it was super sad. A couple of days later, my family and I are living in Highlands Ranch, Colorado. We're sitting around, I think it's like a Friday or a Saturday, and the phone rings, and it's dad. And I'm like, hello? And this is just after Vivian had died. So I thought maybe we're getting an update. Hey, here's you know what the service looks like. He calls and says, What are you guys doing on Monday night? And I'm like, hmm, what are we doing on Monday night? Well, we're hanging out, and yeah, we'll be here Monday night. Why? What's going on? And he says, I'm thinking about driving Vivian up to North Dakota. And I go, What? He goes, Yeah, I'm thinking about driving Vivian up to North Dakota. And I was gonna stop at your house on Monday night and sleep over and keep the keep the car in the driveway. Bad idea. Didn't you have kids? Like little kids? I had three daughters. First of all, I thought about National Lampoons family vacation with grandma, you know, on top of the car, dad in the rocking chair. So I had this image of dad coming up with Vivian. Well, I said, Hey, listen, I don't think you can do that. And he goes, Do you have any idea what they want to charge to fly her up there? Yeah. And I'm like, well, yeah, I, you know, I think that's a thing. And I think there's a law that you can't transport a dead body across state lines. I think that's an actual thing, Dad. And he goes, Well, they would they just want a whole bunch of money to fly her up there. So I was just gonna drive her up.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

And at the end of the day, we did dad get creepy old man's voice anyway.

unknown 3:11

Congrats.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

Well, and and back then his his voice probably wasn't that his voice is like that now. And we're making fun of dad, you know, because you know, my voice in 20 years from now is how we're gonna be talking like old guys. Well, you can make fun of me. So not making fun of dad, but that's how he talks, and that's how he kind of presented everything was hey, what are you doing Monday night? And we're like, what are we doing Monday night?

SPEAKER_01 3:32

I have a question. Would she have been in a casket or not yet? For the drive.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

Great question. And Judy, my inkling is that she would have been sitting in the backseat of the Bronco.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

Yes, yes. They had like an expedition at the time. But I'm like, was he gonna buy the casket and put her in there so then everybody could see?

SPEAKER_02 3:53

Well, one good thing about that, Judy, is that if he would have had Vivian propped up in the car, he could have taken an HOV way and uh sped up the process a little bit. Although it would have been probably a weird, weird thing it had he gotten pulled over. And then he's like, Oh yeah, uh Vivian's sleeping.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Okay, tell tell me he didn't end up doing it.

SPEAKER_02 4:11

He did not end up doing it. He ended up flying her body up the North Dakota. We ended up driving up there for the funeral. The funeral was in Bismarck. She got buried in Bismarck next to Uncle Elder in the Bismarck Cemetery. So all's well that ends well. But I just thought it was crazy that dad was like, and dad being a former cop, yeah, he knows the rules and the laws and all this kind of stuff. And then he's like, Yeah, gotta drive her up there and save a couple thousand bucks.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

One other strange kind of story in Lake Havasoo, and you know, our our folks always were like, Oh, you do this to your car, you're gonna have that kind of a car, and then you're gonna have a trashy car, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. One time I am down there in Lake Havasu City, Arizona. We are an In N Out Burger, and my mom has had neck problems, whatever. She had one of those big neck braces that you would see when somebody's when somebody has it an accident or is in an accident. We're getting ready to pull out an in-and-out burger, and whee, we get hit by a car. I mean, just like broadsided, like T Bow. And uh anyway, it was some young girl and her friend, whatever. And then the girl starts freaking out because she sees my mom already in a neck breeze. Like she had just done that. The fire trucks come, the ambulance come. It's like silence in the car. What was really crazy of all of it, you know, the girls crying, my mom and dad are freaked out. And my mom says, Don, Don, why don't you give her $20? Look how sad she is. Like that's gonna make the situation better. Anyway, we ended up getting towed. Uh Little Lake Havasu story.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

Well, I just got this vision of mom offering the girl 20 bucks. Meanwhile, a month or two later, showing up in court in the full body cast with just her just her face showing and saying, We're suing you.

SPEAKER_01 5:57

You know, we want our $20 back. Listen, they did give her 20 bucks. So he did give her 20, which is stupid.

SPEAKER_02 6:06

Mom should have gotten the 20 bucks.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

It was just very strange.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

Judy, I've got a mom story as well. We're living in Minot. I had moved back to Minot, and I'm working as a sportscaster at KMOT Channel 10. I'm working at KIZZ Radio. Dad's away at the FBI Academy in DC or Virginia, wherever it's at, and I'm driving mom around. We've talked about it in the past. Mom doesn't drive, can't get from point A to point B without somebody driving her. Well, dad's out of town for a couple of months, so I'm mom's ride. Well, we're driving one day on Central Avenue, downtown Minot, and we're pulling up to a red light. Same kind of deal. Boom! Somebody rear-ends us. And mom, you know, gets jolted. And maybe this was actually the cause of the neck brace that you saw at Habazu at some point down the road. Or maybe it was just a continuing thing. But anyway, mom gets hurt, cops show up, ambulance shows up, the guy gets a ticket for rear-ending us. Mom has to go to the doctor. Fast forward about a week later, I'm driving mom to Trinity Hospital in my nuts. She's got an appointment to go see somebody about her neck, which she hurt the week before driving in my car when we got rear-ended. Well, I drop mom off at Trinity Hospital. She's at the appointment. It's going to be about an hour. I drive home about a half hour later. I'm like, oh, let me go back and get mom. I'm driving to go pick up mom. I'm driving down Broadway, and Broadway's backed up. It's probably about four o'clock in the afternoon. Whatever rush hour traffic there is in mine, it's happening on a Friday afternoon on Broadway. Traffic's backed up. Well, the left turn lane is open. I'm going to make a left turn to get onto Burdock Expressway to get over to Trinity. Well, as I'm cruising down that turn lane, which is wide open, across the two lanes of traffic, a girl on a bike. All of a sudden, wham! I hit the girl on a bike, she flies up on my hood, and I'm like, oh my God, I just mom's at the hospital. I just killed somebody on a bike. The girl falls down. This is only a couple blocks from the fire department. Within seconds, beep, the sirens, the fire trucks are showing up. One of my buddies is a fireman. He comes up and he goes, Donnie, what happened? I go, I ran over a girl on a bike. And he goes, Hey, just we'll take care of it. You just stay in the car. I stayed in the car. They're tending to the girl. Well, I look over to the site, and the next thing you know, here's the TV station filming the accident. So I'm like, Wow, this is going to be on the news. This me running over a girl on the bike is going to be on the news tonight. Meanwhile, everything gets cleaned up. The girl goes to the hospital. She didn't get hurt bad. I have damage to the hood of my car. I have to go get mom. Well, now I'm about a half an hour late to go get mom. This is almost similar, Judy, to the snowmobile story, where mom hears sirens and I roll in Trinity Hospital. Mom's waiting for me. She's got this distressed look on her face. She's heard the sirens. She knows I'm a half hour late. She's like, Daddy, what happened? And I'm like, I couldn't lie. And I'm like, sorry, I'm late. I ran over a girl on a bike. And my mom's like, oh, Donnie! Oh, and just starts freaking out and crying. Yes. Thinking that I killed a girl on a bike. And I had to explain to her, hey, listen, it was an older girl, it wasn't a little girl. She's okay. She got a little scratched up. And mom obviously is trying to comprehend all of this and figure out exactly what happened. Couple of interesting aspects to that story. One is there was a witness to the accident on Broadway of me running over the girl on the bike. Across the street is Fisher Motors parking lot. Well, sitting in that parking lot, watching, witnessing the whole thing, was the dude that rear-ended us the week before. And you know, mine that's small, but it's not that small. So the odds of a guy who rear-ended us the week before now being the witness to this accident are a million to one. Well, this guy watched the whole thing. And he comes over and I'm like, and he must think that I'm the an unlucky guy or the unluckiest guy in the world, which we're gonna have an episode about that at some point down the road. That guy, probably not too far off base, thinking about that. So anyway, a couple of weeks later, and again, this is young Donnie. This is not something I would do now, but a couple of weeks later, I'm sitting there and I had the girl's contact information. I had damaged my car. And I thought, hmm, who's responsible for this? She got Judy, a ticket. She got a ticket for crossing traffic on a red or whatever it was. No, you didn't. So she got sighted. Yes, yes, yes, I did. So I call her up, she answers the phone, hello. And I'm like, hey, she's like, I'm going, hey, this is the guy that ran over you a couple of weeks ago on Broadway. And she's like, Yes. And I go, Are you okay? So, you know, I did have a little bit of niceness in me. And I said, Are you okay? And she goes, Yeah, everything's fine. I had a couple scratches and blah, blah, blah. So then anyway, I roll into Dick Donnie move where I said to the girl, hey, I got damaged to the front end of my car. I was hoping you'd take care of that. And she's like, What? I go, I got damaged to my car. Oh, it's not my fault. I was hoping you'd pay for it. The next thing out of her mouth, well, two things happen. One is I heard, fuck you. And the next thing, click, she hangs up on me. And I'm like, okay, I guess I'm not getting my car fixed.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

Well, listen, she might have still been concussed, you know? She has to wear a helmet the whole rest of her life because of you.

SPEAKER_02 11:25

Well, and probably not, again, I was on television and on radio. She probably wasn't a fan. And she probably is like, nah, I'm not watching that guy. He ran over me on I was riding my bike on Broadway, and that guy mowed me down.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

Well, I know, and maybe you're saving this for the other episode, but I have to ask, didn't something else kind of weird happen to you that week uh at home with mom?

SPEAKER_02 11:45

That was week from hell. We had all kinds of things going on. Okay, I'm gonna tell you one thing. Just one thing. We'll save most of it for unluckiest Donnie stories. One thing though, mom and I are gonna fire up the grill, make a couple of steaks. So we've got the gas grill in the backyard, and it's got that little hole where you stick that long wooden match in.

SPEAKER_00 12:06

But that's not what the hole is for, because it's a gas store.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

Oh yeah, oh yeah. Oh no, wait a minute. You're supposed to click it and then it starts. Well, we're clicking and clicking and clicking, and nothing's happening. And we got the gas on, trying to figure it out, and you know, obviously trying to be careful around gas and lighting and all that. Well, at one point, and again, not saying I was the brightest person in the world, but at one point, mom leans over. Like looking at it closer is gonna help. So she sticks her head down to look why it's not lighting. Well, at that exact same moment, I thought, well, let me give it one more click. And of course, fireball. A big fireball, mom flies back, her eyebrows are missing. I smell, I smell burnt hair. And at this point, I'm not thinking about a steak anymore. I'm thinking about, oh my God, I just killed mom. And you kill her, burn the hair off her face. So again, dad's gone for a couple of months. Donnie's left to be the head of the household.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

Sad for her. We're lucky that we still have our mom, by the way. Knock on wood that she's lived all these years.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

Judy, real quick, her eyebrows did grow back. She doesn't have the painted on eyebrows. She they grew back somehow, but but but it sure smelled weird. And can't remember if we had steak or not. I'm gonna say now.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

So one more uh kind of funny story. Uh, I went to visit our folks at Christmas in Lake Havasu City too, and they had a minivan, which I was never a fan of their minivan. They're like, oh, let's go drive around and look at Christmas lights. This isn't an accident, but it just as you get older, I guess what happens to you when you're there's a lot of cars, there's a lot of activity, whatever, but we'd be looking at lights, and then all of a sudden we'd zoom up and then we'd zoom off to the side of the road, and I'd hear, cut, damn it, that guy is on my ass. And that was like every every five minutes, they would say, God damn. It was like a three-hour ordeal to go look at 10 houses because somebody was on our dad's ass in the van.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

It's like looking at Christmas lights with George Costanza's parents. That's exactly what that reminded me of. Mom freaking out about things or whatever, and then dad just freaking out because somebody's tailgating him.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

So, so anyway, I know it wasn't an accident. It didn't end anything kind of totally stupid, but it was kind of funny because it was I every Christmas when somebody says you want to go look at Christmas lights, I'm always thinking, God damn it, that guy's on our ass.

SPEAKER_02 14:36

Judy, speaking of Christmas, I got a great Christmas story. Again, this is recent history. We're living again in Highlands Ranch. The folks now are living up in Commer City. They had moved from Lake Havasoo City, moved up to Commerce City, Colorado. That's actually the name of the town, Commer City, for those of you that don't know. They wanted to get closer to the grandkids, so they moved to Colorado. Well, they're living up in Commerce City, we're living down in Highlands Ranch. It's a day before Christmas. We're planning on spending Christmas Eve at our mom and dad's house. You guys are coming over, our sister's coming over, we're having a small little get together, and we're gonna do Christmas at mom and dad's house. Well, one of my kids have three daughters. One of my daughters had the sniffles because she had been sick. Cassidy had you know been sick and had a cold. Well, anyway, now it's the day before Christmas. She's not sick anymore. But she still might have you know a little after sniffle, you know, kind of thing. Yeah, you know, go just like that. Just like that. Not sick, not coughing, nothing wrong with her other than a sniffle. Mom and dad call, Cassidy answers the phone. I'm downstairs. Cassie's upstairs. I hear her talking to the folks. They're having a great conversation. Can't remember how old Cassie is. You know, she's little. And so anyway, Cassie's like, Opa wants to talk to you. And I'm like, oh, okay. So I get on the phone and first thing dad says is we're canceling Christmas. I go, what? What? He goes, Yeah, we're canceling Christmas tomorrow. I go, canceling Christmas? Never heard of that. What are you canceling Christmas for? Cassie's sick. I go, Cassie's not sick. She was sick. She has the sniffles. Yeah, we can't take any chances. So uh instead of doing Christmas at our house tomorrow, why don't you guys just drive up here, bring the presents, and then we'll meet you out in the driveway and we'll do the present exchange in the driveway. You give us what you got, we'll give you what we got, and then you guys can head out, and then we don't have to worry about getting sick. Well, I'm like, all right. So after that, I have to tell Diana and the kids, hey, listen, Christmas is off. And Cassie, the kids are like, why, why, dad? And I'm like, I can't say, yes, because Cassie, I just had to say, my folks are wacko, and I have to Christmas is off. We're gonna have to do everything in the driveway. And that's what happened. We drove up there the next day. We called them and we said, Hey, we're in the driveway. And they said, Merry Christmas, we'll be out. And they come outside carrying presents, and then and we had presents in the back, and then we gave them presents and they gave us presents, and then we said, All right, happy new year, and then we drove away.

SPEAKER_01 17:19

One other kind of random story, it's tied to Christmas again, but I flew home for Christmas. This was just a few years ago, this three years ago, and he was still driving. And again, our mom never drove. So anyway, and it's below zero, which is pretty rare for Colorado, you know, where it's below zero. But I'm outside and um somebody else was supposed to come get me, but didn't come get me. So they're like, well, and I don't, it wasn't you. So it wasn't you, but what I will say, yeah, I know. So they decided that they would drive, and it was starting to be around dusk, and and this was a period of time where my dad couldn't see white cars.

SPEAKER_02 18:00

Judy, real quick, I learned that driving with them one day where he's driving, and all of a sudden he breaks out the you know, Donnie, I can't, when there's a white car in front of me, I can't see it.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

And I'm like, What? Oh my god, you shouldn't be driving. The other thing is I'd be in the car with him other times, and he's like, You see that stoplight up there? I can't see that. And I'm like, What? I'm like, yeah, I hey it's about time. I'm like, because if there's a bicyclist, whatever, you can run over him. But anyway, I'm sitting at the airport in passenger pickup, and it's dusk. My plane was late, coming in, and it starts to snow, and it's below zero. And they decide to venture out and get me. And I'm outside shaken like a crackhord, so cold. You know, I'm totally shaken. And I'm like, God, where are they? They should have been here by now. They're an hour late. The snow's falling, it's getting icy, and I'm like, oh my God, I have to call the police to go find them because they I got a call from them, and they're like, We're lost. I'm like, You're lost. And it's a 20-minute drive from their house to the airport, and they're lost. Hour late. So I'm waiting and I'm waiting for it.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

There's two roads, Judy. One road, and then you get on the other road.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Yeah. So they drive to the airport, and our mom is our dad's eye. So he's doing the steering wheel and the pedals, and she's German, has a little hard time with some of the signs or whatever and what they mean. But that's how they drove to the airport. Hour later, I get a call. Hey, we're here. They're at some part of the airport. Come find us. And I think that was one of the last times that he ever drove. I mean, it was scary.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

Mom said she was the navigator in that scenario with dad. And then she joked that she was the NAG evador, which is, you know, holds some truth as well. Because if if mom was telling you where to turn or what's going on, that was never a good thing. And then again, for dad to not see things, and then again to break out that I can't see white cars. And then I think I heard at one point from them, when the light turns yellow, but I can't see that. And I've thought to myself, hey, listen, a yellow light's important, Dad.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

Well, that's totally true. Because when I was driving with them, just even our mom, I was in the car, and this is in their neighborhood, and there's a stop sign, and she would yell, Fah, Fah, which is drive, drive in German. And like gun it, because I think she had been his eyes for quite a while. And I'm like, listen, my eyes work totally fine. I can check things out for myself. But yeah, she was the eyes, and he was the one running the control. So it must have been an adventure every time.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

Had they gotten into some kind of an altercation or an accident, who gets the ticket? Is it dad because he's driving, or is it mom because she's navigating?

SPEAKER_01 20:37

Right? Yeah. It was it was that strange.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

Judy, I've got a Christmas story as well, not necessarily about driving, but this just again tells you a little bit about dad and whatnot in regards to him being a cop. I'm off at college. I come home for Christmas. They come and get me at the airport. This is back in Minot, but again, this is years later. But dad comes and gets me at the airport. We're hanging out. I'm in Minot for a couple of days. I was living in Florida at the time. And dad says, Hey, uh, not like the Vivian story, but hey, what are you doing tomorrow? And I said, uh, not much. Why? What's going on? He goes, I was hoping you'd do an undercover sting operation. And I was like, What? An undercover and dad's a cop, a detective, police captain, and undercover sting operation. I go, undercover sting oper. I go, usually I'm the subject of the undercover sting operation, not the one, not the one executing it, Judy. So he says, Well, we got a word that Applebee's is selling alcohol on Sundays. And I thought, hmm. And back then they had the blue laws. You couldn't, you know, I think they had relaxed them a little bit. You can maybe get beer and wine with your food on Sunday. And they had that new Applebee's out by Dakota Square Mall. Well, the word is that they were selling alcohol. Dad wants me to go undercover. He goes, We'll pay for your dinner, go in and order a steak, and then order a cocktail. I'm like, okay. So I go into Applebee's. It's a Sunday afternoon by myself. I sit up at the Bar, I order a steak, police department, city of Minot's paying for it. And yeah. Uh guy goes, What do you want to drink? I go, Rum and Coke. He goes, Okay. Boom. Second later, rum and coke shows up. And I'm thinking to myself, Oh, we got them. We got them. You know, and I wasn't wired or anything, but if I would have been, I would have been like, now, now. You know, I'm kidding. It was it wasn't that kind of mistake. Anyway, so I have my rum and coke in.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

You weren't waiting for a hooker or something. Yeah. Okay. It was a rum and coke at poor apple bees. I love Applebee's.

SPEAKER_02 22:33

Yeah. Oh. Hey, eating good in the neighborhood. I was that day. I'm having a steak. I'm having a rum and coke. Well, I'm going to get a second rum and coke. Just to see if this is a real thing. Sure enough, I get a second rum and coke. Well, at that point, I'm thinking, is this enough to put these guys away? Is this enough to get these guys in trouble? I thought, nah, I don't know. Let me get a third rum and coke. So I got a third rum and coke, finishing up my steak. I got my three rum and cokes. And, you know, I have to report back to dad later. We got them. We got them. We got them good. Nobody's going to be drinking good in the neighborhood next Sunday.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

Yeah. Poor Applebees.

SPEAKER_02 23:12

So that story, sorry, out of nowhere. I just wanted to give you a little feel for, again, Dad.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

I want to switch gears a little bit. And uh I know we talked a little bit about some of our I don't know if unlucky or the probably not the word because you had a whole unlucky thing yourself, but with some of the cars, and we talked a lot about abandoning cars. I abandon a car. You abandon a car. Um, I don't know. Did you ever have any hit and runs? I had some.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

I had a couple of hit and runs, which we're gonna save because I think a couple of those, the statue of limitations has not run out yet. So I might be under a gag order not to talk about that. But I think I know about your hit and run.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

A couple of hit and runs that I had. One, and I'm one, really embarrassed because I was old enough to know better. But this was when I was living in Denver, and the Statue of Limitations is totally up. But I went to Mile High Flea Market. I had a Chevy Tahoe and I was pulling in a parking spot and I don't know what I was doing, but wham! I run into the car. It was I was trying to park. And um, my friend that's with me is like, Are you are you gonna leave a note? And I said, I wasn't going to. So I get in the drive around and I go, she goes, Are we leaving? Are we not going to the flea market anymore? And I said, No, I said, We're gonna just go to a different parking lot. And so anyway, we go to a different parking lot. She's getting the little cart out because we're gonna have a big day at the flea market. And while she's unloading the cart, she's like, What are you doing? I have a screwdriver and I'm taking off the license plate of the car. Like, that's gonna matter. Anyway, like full-on criminal, I take the plates off the car, just in the event that somebody would report it, but I still wanted to go shop it.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

Well, what's weird about that is that you actually had a second set of plates in the car that I'm kidding, you didn't.

SPEAKER_01 24:55

Did not. I'm like, I did not.

SPEAKER_02 24:58

Let me put on my fake plates.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

Yeah, yeah. No, but it would have been weird, you know, just to have the car. It's stupid, moronic, actually. And I know we talked about kind of fight or flight, and then I have one more quick story. I was driving, and this is in Pueblo at Lake Pueblo State Park, which is also nowhere land. I was driving my RV. And I was, it was late on a Saturday. I was at the lake longer than I should have been, and I was getting ready to go meet my friend to go store the RV.

SPEAKER_02 25:26

Real quick, you don't drink. So anybody thinking about late Saturday night, this is not an under-the-influence story.

SPEAKER_01 25:32

Just a yep, moronic Judy driving a 31-foot RV that doesn't, that I no kidding, I don't drink, but I had really bad eye allergies that summer because of the they had fires, a lot of wildfire. So I'm like rubbing my eyes, whatever. I'm driving the RV, and all of a sudden, and I take out my beard off the road and I wipe out 30 foot of fence, two signs, and I'm like, I'm like, oh my God. And I had to go on a business trip the next morning at 6 a.m. flight. So I'm like, I don't have time. It's late. I look, and the whole side of the RV is ripped up. The awning is hanging, the mirror's dangling, and I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, I don't have time. I don't have nothing to see here. Yep, nothing to see here. So I get back in the RV and there's shit dangling off the side of it or whatever. And I'm like, oh my God, I gotta go. And I call my friends that are still at the lake, and I'm like, hey, you need to go look for any evidence because some things fell off the RV that would identify the vehicle, whatever. You got to go get that stuff. So anyway, I'm driving and then I see my friend waiting for me at the parking place, and I'm like, follow me, follow me. And she's like, oh my God, what happened to your RV? And I'm like, just follow me, follow me. Didn't call anybody. But anyway, so I leave, I go on my business trip. She's like, What the hell happened to you? And I said, There were deer. There were deer everywhere, which is a total lie. I just made up fabricated some elaborate story about there was a herd of deer on the road, whatever, and months go by. And I'm missing a giant three by three piece of my RV. I'm at the lake like a month and a half later, and uh I'm outside with one of my friends, and I see a patrol car out there, and he's looking with binoculars. And I'm like, is he looking? Is he looking over here? And I said, Is that hey, is that cop looking over here? Or is he looking out at the lake to see if people are drinking or doing something? She's like, I don't know. I said, anyway, I'm like, I gotta go inside. I quietly go inside the RV. My friend's in there, but I go literally hide. I'm hiding in the back bedroom. Like Judy. Totally. So whip, whip, whip on the door. It's the patrolman, and he's holding the giant piece of my RV that's missing. Does my friend help me out that answered the door? No. She says, Judy, it's for you. You know, and I had low crawled back in the room. But anyway, I come back out and I look at the cop and I'm like, oh my God, you found it. I said, I've been looking everywhere for that. I said, How is the deer? He's like, What the hell are you talking about? And I said, Listen, I know you think I was drinking. I wasn't drinking. I said, but I was in a hurry. Long story short, wrote the guy a check as a donation to the park, brought the cops some cupcakes.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

All good. Kind of reminds me of mom giving the lady 20 bucks and all's.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

I guess that runs in the family. All's good.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

Hey, just pay off uh the cops.

SPEAKER_01 28:14

Yeah. Well, it was a donation to the park, and uh, you know, and it fixed everything, but and I did feel bad.

SPEAKER_02 28:20

That's crazy. Judy, I've got some hit and run stories, some crazy car stories, some other stuff. One thing I do want to bring up just as a tease to a future podcast, was the time that I'm driving in Minot and I made an inappropriate deposit at First Western Bank. What could a deposit be that piques everybody's interest in the bank and floors me that I attempted to do it? We'll find out on our next episode.