S2 E5 - Donny & Judy: Survivors of Parental Shenanigans

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Judy, we're almost halfway through season two, episode number five. We're not running out of material. We've still got a lot of stuff to talk about. Today's kind of a mixed bag of nuts. Got a little bit of everything we're gonna talk about. I s you like that term? Yeah. Got a bag of mixed nuts today that we're gonna talk about. And the nuts is our family.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

Our folks were always kind of interesting people because in my not, in a way, they were almost a little celebrity-ish. Dad was well known because of his role, and mom was well known because she was from Germany and people found her fascinating. So, like when the Great Wall came down, not the Great Wall of China, but the Berlin Wall, that she was on TV for that. So, yeah, it's uh a lot of celebrity. They were asked to do some interesting things, which I know we're gonna jump into.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Judy, you just kind of touched on it. The jumping thing got a couple of great stories with dad, and one of them's from the North Dakota State Fair.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

It's crazy, but because he was in law enforcement, and again, he was kind of famous in town, they asked him to do two things at that 1977 State Fair. One was to participate in the giant jello jump for charity. That is dad in a Speedos in front of a grandstand full of people. I'm, you know, there's a big giant box of red jello with golf balls on the bottom. He jumps in there in front of all the crowd roaring, dives down underneath. He has to bring a golf ball out, which has kind of the amount of money that the charity was going to win. So that was one of two cool things that he did at that fair.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Other cool thing was, and I don't know, was it the same state fair that he did the stock car race thing?

SPEAKER_02 1:34

He absolutely did the stock car races. And this one, you know, he didn't win money for charity, but he did hold up and bring back the rear because he came in dead last place.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Because he had a crap car. They just borrowed other people's cars. And dad was always a good driver. He went through police training, road cour stuff with the police departments. I think dad was always like an expert driver, especially, you know, in that day and age. For him to take dead last, somebody's got to make an excuse and say, yeah, I had crappy equipment or I had a bad car or whatever. But he had some crappy, like Chevy Vega, or just some garbage car that he was driving. He was not only last, I think he got lapped. He was way back there.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

I think he did too, but that's not why I was laughing. Because when you said he did the police training, for our listeners, Donnie thought that he was my dad sometimes and that he could do uh training. So I'd be driving down a steep hill and mine up, which wouldn't be anything, and all of a sudden he'd lean over and rip up my emergency brake in the car because he thought the car would like squeal to the side or something, but he would do all kinds of nonsense stuff like that too, just because he was inspired by dad.

SPEAKER_01 2:39

There was a guy that I used to hang out with by the name of Blair, and then another one, Steve, I'd be in their car and they'd be driving right down 2nd Avenue and mine up by Arrowhead Shopping Center, and just not even announcing it, I'd lean over and go, and I'd pull up the emergency brake, and the car would squeal to a stop, and sometimes it would do the fishtail, kind of sliding off to the side kind of thing, doing some crazy things back in the day. But real quick, I got to tell you one other thing that the Jell O story reminded me of this when I was in Bismarck Radio because dad had no shame. He's out there in his speedos. Judy, I'm working at the radio station in Bismarck, and our promo guy comes up to me one night, and we used to get paid for public appearances, and he goes, Hey, I got a gig for you tomorrow night, pays $100. It's in a Bismarck bar. Wow, okay, that sounds cool. Always up for making a little extra money. I go, what's the gig? And he goes, You got a mud rustle. I go, Mud Russell? Yeah, you got a mud rustle two women, mud rustlers, in a bar packed with people. And I immediately said, Hell no, I'm not doing that. And he said, Why not? And I go, well, first of all, I'm not getting in a swimsuit in a mud pit. And then the next thing you know, get my ass kicked by two girls and get pinned and the crowds cheering and roaring. Here, I'm getting the crap beat out of me by a couple of professional muds. These are girls that actually travel with this circuit that, you know, are professional mud wrestlers.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

Donnie, you would not have gotten the dirt out. I'm telling you the mud would have been everywhere. Well, I'm not talking about your ear hole. Not the ear hole.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

Hey, a couple other things with Dad. You just reminded me of that with the police thing where he'd be driving police training and all that kind of stuff. One time we're driving around a Minot, and this is me and a couple of buddies, and I can't remember who I was with. We're driving down Broadway, and right by Central Avenue, I don't know if you remember, Minot had that one and only adult bookstore. My buddies and I are driving by, and there's like five, six police cars out front. And we're like, oh my God. And it looked like there was like they're responding to a robbery or a break-in. And at seven, eight o'clock at night, we thought, let's drive by and see what's going on. And they don't have the road blocked off, so you can actually drive by on Central Avenue, five, six police cars, cops are out milling around. And as we drive by, I notice an undercover MINAT police car starts following me. And I'm like, and I said to my buddy, I go, I think we're being tailed. And he goes, No. And I go, Yeah, Judy, this is mine. This is only, again, happens to us. I go, I think we're being tailed. And he goes, No way. And I go, yeah, that's an undercover police car that's following us. And I made a right on like Main Street. The police car makes a right. I make a left, I make a right, and it's following us like four or five turns. It's absolutely following us. And then all of a sudden out of nowhere, boom, the lights come on in the grill and a couple of little taps on the siren, we're getting pulled over. And I'm like, oh my God. So we pull over and I look in the rearview mirror. Judy, it's dad. It's dad pulling me over. We had beer in the car. We're smoking, just getting in all kinds of trouble. So I thought, okay, now you're supposed to stay in your car and not get out. To hell with that. I said, I'm getting out of the car and I'm going back to talk to the cop, which was dad. I get out there and I get up to dad and he goes, What's going on?

SPEAKER_00 5:45

I go, Oh, we're just driving around. We shoot the we shoot the crap for a couple of minutes. That was it. He was just pulling me over because he could. And again, this is just stuff, Judy, that happens to us. And I will tell you, real quick, a quick follow-up on that.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

The next morning when I got up and I came upstairs for breakfast, Dad looks at me and he goes, Did I freak you out last night?

SPEAKER_02 6:04

You have no idea. Yeah. Right? He did that to me too. And I was, again, driving down Broadway as well. That was the thing to do. And I had booze on me. And he thinks it's funny. I hated when he worked that four to midnight shift because that's when we were had, you know, we could go out, we could stay out till midnight. But it was always like Mr. Fun Hater with the lights going on. And you you weren't always sure that it was him. You know what I mean? So again, our routine, jump out of the car. I mean, I had cigarettes, I had booze, I had all kinds of stuff. I'm like, forget it.

SPEAKER_01 6:34

You had to be careful because you couldn't assume that it was always dad, because if it was somebody else pulling you over, you didn't want to be a wacko and get out of your car and then, you know, again, it's mine, not nothing crazy is going to happen. But still, you had to kind of just be careful and do a double check and a double take and go, Oh yeah, oh yeah, that's just dad effing with us.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

You never knew, because like I said, that happened to me. Same thing. We had to jump out of the cars. Were you ever in the car with him or him and mom? And all of a sudden he sees some other police activity.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

No, but I've heard a couple of those stories.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

He gets out like there's like something going down on the side of the road. It's me, mom, and dad. And it looks like a cop is getting the these criminals are getting the best of this cop. Dad flies into the parking lot, gets over there, and starts getting involved in the altercation. Mom rolls down the window. She's like, kick him in the balls, get him, yelling and egging him on like you know, like it's a street fight.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

The story I heard was dad one time saw a policeman trying to arrest somebody on the side of the road. The guy wouldn't get in the car. Dad pulls over, dad gets out of the car to go help the officer to kind of just help. He's obviously off-duty cop. So there's this guy that won't get in the car. And I remember dad always telling me the story. He goes, I got that, I got that son of a bitch in the car. And I said, Oh, really? What'd you do? And he goes, I went up and I kicked him. I kicked him right in the gut. And he bent over and I pushed him and he fell on the car. And I'm like, Wow, nowadays you can't do that.

SPEAKER_02 7:54

Yeah, you you cannot. I have to tell you, another time he was working on the raid program. Some lady is driving down the road without her lights on or whatever. So he lights her up, they pull over, and she is like totally hammered. Hammered. There's like groceries that have been sitting in the back of the car forever. And the lady's like four foot, almost like a midget. She says to my dad, I think I can kick your ass. And he's like, What? She's like, I think I can kick your ass. And my dad's like, I think you can, but you're gonna need to get in the back of the police car.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

You tell me another story where they had a guy detained at the mine up police department that was obnoxious and drunk and all that kind of stuff and not following orders. And dad was in the interrogation room with the guy, and then he walked out and uh said, Yeah, this guy's not behaving and not following commands. And one of the other mine up police officers goes in there. Dad says he could hear just all kinds of like activity and stuff get moved around and sounded like there was like a massive thing going on in there. And then this cop comes out a little disheveled. He's listening now. I think he got the crap beat out of him. Judy, that was just the way it was back then, the 70s. If somebody wasn't following commands or not listening, you got an elbow, or you got punched, or you certain situations you got kicked in the gut to double over so you could get pushed in the police car.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

Yeah, I think he actually got bit too one time. I wouldn't uh I wouldn't know what to do if somebody leaned over and bit me.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

One time dad says to me, he goes, What are you doing tomorrow? And I'm like, and I think it was in a summer or whatever, and I go, I don't know, what's going on? He goes, I gotta drive down to Bismarck and pick up some evidence. You want to come with me? And I'm like, oh, okay. Well, we take an undercover police car. We're driving down highway 83, kind of boring ride with dad, and I I looked at him and I go, Hey, can we turn the sirens on? We're all by ourselves driving on the highway. Dad can be cool. Leans over, flips the switch. And we're driving, we're flying down the highway. And I remember looking up to the side of the road, and all the cows that were in the farm fields were actually looking over. Here comes They were not. Yeah, they were. They heard it. It sounded like a move. I swear to God. It's like when you honk your horn and you try to get a cow to look. And sometimes they do.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

Claribel heard a siren and got all excited. I will say one other thing, too, that's kind of interesting is I went on a ride along with our dad. We pull over somebody, and dad's talking to the guy, driver's side window, and I have my window down, and all of a sudden another policeman comes running through the ditch, uh, and running like crazy through the ditch because the passenger of the car that my dad pulled over reached his arm out the window, and that's where he was holding the boobs. So my dad couldn't see it. But the other cop that was driving by totally saw it, came flying up there. That same cop that came running through the field is the one that gave me my driver's test. I won't say his name either, but just a fun random fact.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

We've talked about it on some of our podcasts, just some of the goofy stuff that came out of dad's mouth. We've alluded to the fact that nothing good happens after midnight. But again, just some of the goofy things that he said. And I think there was even a book or a TV show out a while back that was called The Goofy Things My Dad Says. We could have actually done something similar, or maybe even had a whole podcast about it, because dad would just say some crazy things. I wasn't on a ride along with dad, but I was actually riding in the car with dad one day. And we're driving down the street, and there's some weirdo walking on the side of the road. And, you know, not not just a normal person walking to work or home or from school. It was a weirdo. It was like some freak walking down the side of the road, and I remember looking over, and dad looks over and and he kind of shakes his head, and I'm like, I thought maybe he knew the guy, and I was like, What? What? And dad goes, just remember this for the rest of my life. Dad goes, Yeah, that guy would probably stick his dick in a rock pile if he thought there was a spider in there.

SPEAKER_02 11:36

What?

SPEAKER_01 11:36

At the time it it didn't register. I had to kind of think about it. I actually heard that from him a couple of more times, and then it finally, if you think about it, and we're not gonna explain it. Whenever Dad saw like a freak or a pedophile, or you know, and I don't know if the guy was a pedophile, but that's kind of what I thought anyway, years later when dad would say some of that goofy stuff.

SPEAKER_02 11:55

Wow, I can't even imagine. I want to go back to in a second, you know, nothing good happens after midnight, but I have to say, since you brought up the spider, which is like one of the creepiest things I ever heard, but it reminds me of another trip that I was on, uh uh like a school trip. One of the guys had like a sand crab. We were at the beach, yeah, you know where this is going. He's like, and and it was like that we are the miller show. But he's like, I have to tell you, so crawled up his swim trunks on the beach in the morning. I felt somebody standing over me. It's him. And he's like, Judy, Judy, what? I have a lump on my dick. What? And he's like, I have to go home. What are you talking about? Because there's other people in the room. And he's like, It's huge. I have to go. I got bit by something. Anyway, I digressed. That story reminded me of, but it wasn't a spider.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

That's exactly like we're the Millers. Totally like that. I was like, oh my God. And that was even gross in the movie, so I can't imagine in real life somebody's dad.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

Yes, and then like telling me about it. The rash lasted for a week just to close that out.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

Yikes. Hey, I gotta tell you real quick, a couple of other dad things with driving. One is, and I think you remember this, but dad didn't like giving people rides, our friends. And there's a couple of examples where, like after basketball practice or football practice, and it might have been in the middle of the winter, be hanging out with a couple of guys, and somebody would come up to me and say, Hey, is your dad coming to get you? And I go, Yeah, and do you think he could give me a ride home? And I'm like, Yeah, I think so. Let me ask dad. And again, it's like 12 degrees outside. We're standing outside, we just took showers, our hair's all wet. Dad pulls up in the LTD. I said, Hey, can we give so-and-so and so-and-so a ride home? And dad says, No. And I'm like, What? He goes, We got to go. And I'm like, oh, okay. So I have to turn to my buddies and say, sorry, guys, and hop in the car and leave. And I thought that was just the craziest thing that dad would not give our friends a ride home. It was rare. And there were other examples of us on a Friday night where he'd come pick us up. And you always had to be kind of solo or by yourself because if all of a sudden you had a group of friends that needed a ride or any of that kind of stuff, it got weird.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

It reminded me that same thing when I was at the class reunion this summer. My friend said, We could go over to your house, but we couldn't set foot in your house. You were terrified. And not that I was going to get grounded or beaten or anything like that, but we just weren't allowed. That was the rule. Their rules, and they were super strict about their rules.

SPEAKER_01 14:14

Judy, I got to real quick tell you about one time that dad drove me and two friends home. We went to a Minut State basketball game, and I think it was with Dana and Todd or at Swain Hall, and we're watching the Beavers play basketball. And after the game, I called Dad and said, Hey, can you come get us? And it's me and Dana and Todd. This is the probably the one exception where Dad said, Okay, and he comes and gets us. Comes and gets us at Minut State University, and we're driving down that one road to get us back. Kind of by Longfellow School. We're driving down the street. I'm in the front, my two buddies are in the back, and all of a sudden, somebody tries to pass us on a residential street. You know what dad did?

SPEAKER_00 14:51

Frickin' gunned it. We're doing 60. He wouldn't let this guy pass us. So finally the guy had to back off, get back in his lane because some dude was trying to pass us. And dad said, Oh, hell no, nobody's passing me. They were freaking out. They were roaring. We talked about it for like a week in school. They're like, oh, your dad Friday night. Yeah. Gunning it on a residential street, hitting 60 just because somebody was trying to pass us.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

Again, dad, sometimes he I don't know if that was a cool thing. Sometimes dad kind of surprised you or did something out of the norm.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

One of his other favorite expressions of all time, I always I still say it to myself. I can't help it, is that's bullshit. Everything is bullshit. Hey, I want to play with this toy. It's bullshit. What's that nursery rhyme? It's bullshit. Everything was bullshit. I was out with some friends playing bingo. I know it's a sign of the time. So I'm old and I'm playing bingo, but they call out a number. It's not on my card. I'm like, that's bullshit. But that's everything that dad would always say, can we have this? No, you don't want that. That's bullshit.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

And now one of his big words is communists. And I was talking to dad a few months ago or last year or whatever. And we're talking about basketball in North Dakota.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

And he's like, Oh, who won the state tournament this year?

SPEAKER_01 16:03

Was it my not? And I go, no, it was, I think it was like Fargo South or Fargo Cheyenne or something. And dad says, God damn communists and Fargo. And I was like, what? Communists and Fargo? So again, I digress as well with dadisms.

SPEAKER_02 16:21

I have a funny story. When I was when I had just moved out from home, and I always tell this story that I was like 17 when I moved out middle of the year. And mom and dad thought that I could still have curfew after I left the house. And I know you made a joke and said, what a long leash I had. And they always thought that I was really irresponsible, which I totally was irresponsible. I would pack up, quit a job over nothing, and uh, you know, to get an opportunity to go on a trip. But there was a school trip that I really, really wanted to go on. What would it matter to them? Because I was at a junior college. What should they care? But I didn't want to ask them to go, because again, I'd get the whole lecture about what am I going to do about my job. I go and it's to New York City. It was like such a huge opportunity to get to go to New York City. I'm there, I don't say anything, I don't tell them, but all my friends are calling their parents and stuff like that. I'm like, oh, I want to call my mom and dad too. So I call and I'm like, oh, you guys sound so far away. I don't know why I said that, because it was just totally stupid to say, you sound far away, because I am far away. And in case, you know, there's a bad connection because it's a long distance call. I don't know. It was stupid. But anyway, I'm on this trip and I have a great time. I go to the Yankees game. I go do all kinds of fun stuff. I don't say boo to my mom and dad. So weeks go by, weeks. And one day I'm talking to them, and we're on the phone for like 20 minutes. And mom says, How is New York? Like, just stone cold, out of the blue. And I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. And they're like, Judy, we saw you. What do you mean you saw me? And they're like, Yeah, we saw you on TV. What? They're like, Yeah, we saw you on TV at the Yankees game. Yes, I was there, blah, blah, blah. Well, guess what? They hadn't seen me at the Yankees game, but that's what they said. So somebody, I think it was my friend Terry, but she tipped them off. And of course, I sang like a bird.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

Hey, that's entrapment. The folks were perfect at that because remember, you had that other story where they entrapped you into thinking that you were at a bar and you weren't at that bar or at that liquor store. And then you ended up just saying you were because mom was putting all kinds of pressure on you and saying, Yeah, no, we saw you at the liquor store. You were there. And then after like five minutes of that, you know, you crumbled and just said, I was there, even though you weren't.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

What are you trying to catch us doing?

SPEAKER_01 18:38

Now we're onto their shenanigans. And it's hard to fool us because we've learned. We've learned from the best. Hey, one thing I got to say about dad too, and dad's super smart. I'm gonna make it sound like he's not with this next little story, but dad's super smart, actually went back to college, got his degree. At one point, he was gonna go to UND and get his law degree, and there was talk about him maybe being a lawyer. He rose the ranks at the police department, eventually became the captain of the detectives. And you know, had he stayed there, he might have ended up being the chief of police. So dad was very well versed, great at studying. He always did good on those exams that he had to do.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

Like number one, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Always tested out top of the class. However, I remember him helping us with our homework when we were in grade school and junior high. And again, sometimes the stuff that you see in grade school and junior high, and I'm that way sometimes too, or it was with my kids, where I'd look at their homework and go, what the heck are you guys learning? But I remember dad, Dad, can you help me with this homework problem? And he'd sit there staring at it for a couple of minutes, but a minute went by, and then you're kind of hoping that dad was figuring it out and was going to help you or get you to understand it, you know, maybe not give you the answer, but show you the way. But dad's response more than once when looking at our homework was the classic, well, huh, that doesn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_00 19:56

And then that was the end of the help. And then you went to school the next day with your homework not done, and the teacher's like, you know, even my dad doesn't understand it. What the hell are you teaching us?

SPEAKER_02 20:05

I don't know if you remember the classrooms had telephones in them. And the telephone's sole purpose, it wasn't to call like 911 or to call for help. It was we were on hunting you down for something you did in your class.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

I totally remember that. Sitting in class and that phone rang, and all of a sudden you got kind of worried, and the teacher would answer the phone and go, Yeah, yeah, he's here. And then you just hoped that the teacher didn't turn around and look right at you.

SPEAKER_02 20:27

It was like clockwork where I'd get called out of my accounting class. And the reason I would bring that up is the story you were talking about with homework is they would send out deficiency slips in the mail because everything was paper at the time, nothing digitized. Yeah, it was just kind of interesting. And then I know also kind of unrelated to that, but I had to ask, did any of your dadisms that from our dad carry over to things you did with your own kids?

SPEAKER_01 20:51

I kind of alluded to it a little bit with the homework where I'd be helping my kids with homework. Nowadays you can look up stuff and you can research it and you can find an answer. But pre-internet or pre that being a thing, the kids would say, Dad, can you help me with the homework? And I can kind of almost pull a dab where I'd look at it. And I didn't do the whole, well, huh. But, you know, I remember looking over at Diana going, I don't know what the hell they're teaching these kids. This is crap we never learned. Judy, this episode's been a lot about dad. Our dad kind of like Archie Bunker, except for a lot smarter. But a lot of the bunker things that happened with Archie kind of with our dad as well. So a lot of funny stories. But mom also in the picture, she's in the car on these ride-alongs, and she's involved. And they're a team, they're 50-50. But I gotta ask you, who are you more afraid of?

SPEAKER_02 21:37

Hands down, mom. She could figure anything out and she wouldn't let it go. She was like a dog with a bone. She could figure out the crime. Dad, you you knew you were in trouble, but he would let it go. She her mind would keep working, and then she'd put all the pieces together. Of course, if she, you know, you're confessing to things.

SPEAKER_01 21:55

If you're confessing to things that you didn't even do, that tells you exactly the amount of pressure that they put on us. And I gotta tell you real quick, Judy, mom and dad never got physical with us. You know, they got you know, it was always like verbal kind of stuff, but I do remember specifically, and again, I I don't remember what the infraction was. And this will answer your question about who are you more afraid of. But I remember doing something one time and pissing off mom so much, she started chasing me with a metal rake in the backyard. She's holding a rake and she's running, and I'm running. I'm like, she never caught me, but I just thought, oh my God, I'm being chased. There's my god of a TV show.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

I wonder what would have happened.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

The other thing she would always say is, you wait until your dad gets home. You were always worried about that, but she would also sometimes take liberties and embellish her side of the story. At that point, you had no say. Normally in a court of law, you get both sides of the story with our mom and dad. Once our mom rested her case, dad came down with his judgment. There was there was you couldn't say shit.

SPEAKER_02 22:55

I remember one time we were playing, we had these snowmobile suits, and that's what we would play in because it was so damn cold. And it was a brand new snowmobile suit. And you and I are down at the mall at the end of the street by Tempo and Arrowhead Mall. And we were on this like ice hill, because it was ice from snow that was like 20 feet tall that they had cleared. And we would play on that and play on that. Well, I ripped my snowmobile suit, and I I mean I'm terrified. Because it was brand new. And you know, we were that family of you had to take care of your stuff, you know, you didn't get to wreck it. So anyway, I'm downstairs. I think we had bunk beds at the time, and I'm like hunkered down because I'm terrified that I'm gonna get in trouble, and I'm like, please don't get in trouble. And I'm like, well, I wonder if my dad baby won't tell my mom. And our mom comes in the house, and all of a sudden all I hear at the top of the stairs is voice a trek suck. And wow and the translation of that is which I think it's hysterical now, but is where is that dirt bag? Yeah, I got my eyes closed really tight. I'm gonna sleep really hard, you know, to pretend that I didn't hear anything. I didn't get in trouble, you know, other than I we can't have anything nice.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

I got chased with the rake with mom. You got called the dirt bag. So, you know, again, I think the answer to that question is mom.

SPEAKER_02 24:14

Yeah, just a reminder for folks too, to follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and we're new on TikTok. You can follow us there. You can also email us in some photos, even if you have big snowbag photos, whatever it is. You can email us at hello at stories from the middle of nowhere.com. We would love to hear from you. Love to get your picks.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

We love getting feedback. We love picks. And if they don't end up on the podcast, social media or our website, at some point, probably we'll do a big photo dump.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

And hopefully nothing with a rock pile and a spider. So yeah, keep those to yourself. Looking forward to our next episode. We got a whole bunch of crazy things to talk about. Can't wait.